My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
