Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
