drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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