Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
