just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I intend to get homeless drunk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
