So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
