They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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