I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We are two peas in an std pod
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize