btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
