I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
MIDGETS
????
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
