Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
