I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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