Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
