Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
