She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
PANTIES FOUND
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