The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
