My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
