I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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