Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I skipped work to stalk him.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
