you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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