You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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