I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
