are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
