3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
3 2 1 whiskey
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize