Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
