I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
