no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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