I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize