My friends, they love my intelligence
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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