it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
