I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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