Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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