is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
