I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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