you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sext me about skeletons
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
