and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
