i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
