So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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