Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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