Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
