He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
