He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
