Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Houston, we have a blender
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
