fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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