she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
