I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He felt like a one man threesome
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize