So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
