you guys were way drunker than both of me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
