cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He did a backflip because drugs
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
