Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize