I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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