i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
