Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize