She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
