i need an iv and a liver transplant
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
