i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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