My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
