apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this just has baby written all over it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
