great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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