we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
