i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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